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This section of the site is dedicated to stuff about me. Or at least it's supposed to be dedicated to stuff about me. Well, basically I've had a strange life... I lived in Nebraska until I was 10 years old and my brother made a huge mistake. Something he now regrets, but cannot change. When that happened we moved to Ohio where I now exist with my mother. Since I've been here, we've lived in 6 houses and I've gone to 2 different schools. Life has been generous to me in many ways. Some being generously good, and some being generously bad. I have had the great opportunity to meet many people who have affected my life greatly since I moved here, but I've also had more than my share of bad things happen to me. I choose not to go into most of these in detail except a few.
The summer of 2002 (between my Junior and Senior Year of high school) I fell in love with the most wonderful guy you could ever meet. No one on earth could ever top Scott. He was not only my best friend, but also my boyfriend. On June 24th we were scheduled to go to Cedar Point in Cleveland Ohio with my youth group, and would be leaving at 7:00 sharp. In order to make the bus on time Scott had to leave his house at 6:00 no later than 6:15 and get to my house by 6:30 no later than 6:45. Scott's alarm clock didn't go off that morning, so his dad woke him up. He got dressed and darted out the door in a hurry. On his way to my house, just barely 7 miles from there, he was in a car accident. A 70 year old man crossed the center line and hit Scott head on. Scott's car was turned completely around (so instead of facing east like he should have been he was facing west in the east bound lane.) The rescue squad took almost 10 minutes to get to the accident, and because of that Scott didn't survive. All the bones in his legs, and most of the bones in the left side of his body were crushed, part of them punctured hi lung and aorta. He had a very slim chance of survival even if they would have shown up quicker. The man that hit Scott walked away from the accident with a few bumps and bruises, and a totaled truck. He was lucky.
Since then I am a completely different person. To a lot of people it may not seem like it, but I have changed a lot. I am constantly told how strong of a person I am veiwed as and how awesome I am at dealing with things like this. Inside, I do not feel strong. Inside, I feel empty, useless, un-needed. Because of my stubbornness, and the changes I have undergone I have lost a few freinds, and gained a few back. I do snap at people quite easily, and I do have a horrid temper when I am upset or depressed. I wish that I could control my temper better, and that I wouldn't let so much affect me, but it does. I've tried to understand myself better, tried to be a calmer person, but it isn't working. The calmer I try to be, the more I blow up at people, so instead of trying to be calm and shrug things off, I'm going to ignore people and keep being me.
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